KRUEGER FINEST CROWNTAINER CONE TOP BEER CAN!

Description

SEE PHOTOS FOR DETAILS.  NOTE:  IF THIS CAN ARRIVES WITH A DROP OF BEER INSIDE, I WILL PAY FOR AN ALL-EXPENSE TRIP TO DISNEY WORLD, OR HECK, WHEREVER IT IS YOU’D LIKE TO GO!  I HEARD MARS IS NICE THIS TIME OF YEAR.  OFFER INCLUDES MOUSE EARS FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!
WANNA FLY ON THE WEIRD AMAZON BEZO ROCKET?!  IMAGINE HANGING OUT WITH A RICH DUDE LIKE THAT!  MAYBE YOU COULD TALK HIM INTO BUYING EBAY AND GETTING RID OF THEIR RIDICULOUS AND INCONSISTENT POLICY ON SELLING COMPLETELY EMPTY BEER CANS.
THIS BABY’S SWEET!  CAUTION:  BEER CAN COLLECTING CAN BE ADDICTING AND TREATMENT OPTIONS ARE LIMITED.  ALTHOUGH SPENDING HARD-EARNED CASH ON WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY OLD GARBAGE IS NOT KNOWN TO CAUSE CANCER, IT CAN BE FATAL TO YOUR WALLET.  IT MAY ALSO BE HARMFUL TO YOUR MARRIAGE WHICH CAN REALLLLY BE FATAL TO YOUR WALLET.   NOTE:  IN ACCORDANCE WITH EBAY’S STRICT POLICY AGAINST THE SALE AND/OR TRANSPORT OF ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES, THIS ITEM IS VOID OF IT’S ORIGINAL CONTENTS.  🙁  UPON CLOSE INSPECTION, ONE MIGHT DETECT A FAINT ODOR OF OLD DRY BEER, ALE, MALT LIQUOR, OR SMELLS OF UNKNOWN SUBSTANCES.  BE AWARE THAT REHYDRATING AND CONSUMING OLD BEER IS ILLEGAL IN MOST STATES WITH THE EXCEPTION OF OKLAHOMA (WHERE MACARONI AND CHEESE IN CONSIDERED A VEGETABLE), ARKANSAS, EASTERN TENNESSEE, BOLIVIA, AND  COUNTIES IN MISSISSIPPI THAT START WITH THE LETTER “J”.  AS A SIDE NOTE, THESE ARE THE SAME PLACES WHERE FISHING WITH TNT AND/OR ELECTRICITY IS ALSO LEGAL.
PLEASE NOTE:  IN THE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS, THE USPS HAS TAKEN A TURN FOR THE WORSE.  AFTER YEARS OF RELIABLE SERVICE, THINGS ARE NOW QUITE MESSY.  ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, ITEMS EVENTUALLY ARRIVE TO THEIR FINAL DESTINATION.  THEY MIGHT SIT FOR SEVERAL DAYS ALONG THE WAY.  SOMETIMES, THEY APPEAR TO TRAVEL TO OTHER PARTS OF THE COUNTRY BEFORE ARRIVING AT THE PROPER DESTINATION.  PLEASE BE PATIENT.  FEEL FREE TO REACH OUT AND VENT TO ME.  I’VE FORMED A SUPPORT GROUP.  WE MEETS WEDNESDAYS AT 6 PM.